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Thursday, February 17, 2011

On a Walk

You can never just go on a walk when you're a mom. There always has to be something productive accomplished by it, since leisure is a thing of the distant past. I had collected several things I needed to post on various neighbors' doors, so I said to John and James, "Let's go for a walk!"

I buckled James into the double stroller, and smiled to see John had already buckled himself with the straps criss-crossing crazily. I helped him do it right, then we were off.

At the first house:
Me: Just a minute, guys, I need to put something on the door.
James, sucking on the bar: A da!
John, in a loud, clear, excited voice: Whata you doeen, mom?
Me: I'm putting--
John: Ayoo putteen sumping on da doe?
Me: Yep, I am.
John, tugging at his buckle: Can I hep you?
Me, coming back: I'm all done, buddy, but you can help me with the next one.
John, sitting back: Witha nest one? Ok!

At the second house:
John, volume up as usual: Isit dis one, mom? Can I hep wif dis one?
Me, unbuckling him: Yep! Here, take this and tape it to the glass part of the door.
John, taking the note with enthusiasm: To da gwass pawt? OK! You stay wight deah, mom, and I wi put dis on da doe. Dis is not ow house. Dis is deah house. Dis gwass pawt? Ok. See, I put it on da gwass pawt, mom! I comeen!
Me: The next house is just right there. Do you want to walk or ride?
John, considering the buckle: I wanna walk.--No! I wanna wide!
Me: We won't buckle you, then, because it's really close.
John, twisting to get both ends of the buckle: NOOOOO! I needa be buckowed!

At the third house:
Me: Ok, buddy, you can take this one and tape it to the glass part.
John, hopping up the sidewalk and yelling: OK! Oh! Wookit dat, mom. It's a widdo sidewalk. I wanna go on dat one. Wookit the widdo sidewalk, mom! It's soooo kyoot! I wuvit! Oh, wookit, mom! My bike is jis wike dis one. But dis is not my bike, dis is deah bike.
Me: Ok, bud, put it on the door!
John, recognizing the house: I came heow wass night! I came and pwayed heow wif dat boy!
Me: Yep, you came here once and played. Put the note on the door now, so we can go to the next place.
John, still yelling: Oh! OK! I put it on da gwass pawt, mom!
Lady of the house, coming to see what all the racket is: Oh! Hi, John, Judith!
John, turning: I put sumping on yo doe fo you!
Lady of the house, looking around: You did? I don't see it!
John, obligingly going up to the sidelight and showing her where he had put the note: Wight heow! It's fo you!
Lady of the house: Oh, thank you, John! When are you coming to play again?
John: I dunno. We aw putting sumping on doze.
Me, smiling and waving as John finally comes back: Thanks!

At the fourth house:
John, noticing the rock-paved driveway: Look, mom! Woks! I wanna get some fo my cowection!
Me: Well, you can't take them from the driveway, bud, but here are some on the side of the road you can have.
John, eyeing the rocks: OK! I want five! One, two, fwee, foe, five! OK! I got dem.
Me: Put them in the stroller so you can take the note to the door.
John: Yeah, my hands aw foe wif woks. Deah! No, I wanna keep one. Now I can put da note on da doe!
Me: You put it on that door there, and I'll go over here and put this one on that door, ok?
John, jogging up the sidewalk and yelling: OK! I wi put dis on the gwass pawt, ok, mom? You put dat note on dat doe! Omigosh! Mom!! Mom!! I can heow da echowocation!
Me, stopping dead: The echolocation? Where'd you hear that?
John, jumping around as he yells on the recessed, covered porch: Wissen, mom, to da echowocation!
Lady of the house, opening the door and seeing the note: Did you just give this to me, buddy?
John, still jumping and yelling: Yeah! I puddit on you doe! Wookit my wok! I didn't have a cowection, so I found some woks and I wi find wots and WOTSa woks and put dem in my cowection!
Lady of the house, nodding: Um humm!
John, jumping down the sidewalk: I don't wiv heah, I wiv ova deah.
Me: Ok, John, say 'bye!
John: BYE!!!

At least the point of the walk wasn't exercise.

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